Wrestling loses another star from the 80s

I expected this week’s column to be full of good news, what with the return of a major superstar to RAW and the debut of Mr. America on Smackdown. Then I checked the hot sheets Friday night.

Elizabeth Hulette, better known to wrestling fans as Miss Elizabeth, passed away Thursday from unknown causes. She was 42 years old. A medical report is due sometime this week. Hulette was Randy Savage’s valet during her run in the WWF from 1985 to 1992. After four years out of the business, she returned to wrestling in 1996, joining WCW. Hulette was married to Savage for a few years before the two went their separate ways in 1992. Recently, Hulette was romantically involved with Lex Luger.

Now this is where it gets weird.

Luger, whose real name is Lawrence Pfohl, was arrested Thursday evening and charged with 13 counts of felony purchase and possession of a controlled substance and one misdemeanor count of possession, sale and distribution of a controlled substance. A police search of his Marietta, Georgia home found anabolic steroids, testosterone, hydrocone, Xanex and Sazien (a synthetic growth hormone). Luger was released early Friday morning on a $27,500 bond.

Last month, police responded to a domestic violence call at Luger’s house and arrested him. Luger was accused of punching Hulette in the face and was charged with battery. On top of that, the Marietta Daily Journal reported Sunday that Luger had been arrested April 21 for driving under the influence and rear-ending another car with his Porsche. Luger reportedly had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and could not locate his license. Additionally, reports indicate that he had a 9-mm handgun in the car, as well as Elizabeth, who was a passenger. And, the license he was driving on was suspended following an incident in March.

That flushing sound you heard was Luger’s career going down the toilet.

In other news, Kurt Angle and his family can breath a little easier as authorities have arrested a woman who had been stalking the wrestler for several months. Apparently the unidentified woman had been calling Kurt’s home and leaving threatening messages detailing what she would do to his family. She also claimed to be carrying Angle’s baby.

How about some more bad news? WWE Superstar Batista re-injured his bicep last week in a fall last week while jogging with his wife. According to the WWE, he re-tore his biceps, pushing his return to the ring back by at least four months.

Time for some good news.

Last Monday’s RAW featured a major surprise as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin returned to television. Austin will assume the co-general manager position, having been appointed to the slot by WWE co-owner Linda McMahon. Austin has said his first order of business will be to reinstate some title belts lost during Bischoff’s administration. Could it mean the return of the Intercontinental Title? We’ll have to wait and see.

On last week’s Smackdown, the whole world was introduced to Mr. America who warned all those who opposed the American way of life, “Watcha gonna do when the 24-inch patriots run wild over you!?” Despite the blonde hair peeking out from behind the mask and the bleached blonde mustache, Mr. America dispelled any rumors about he and recently fired superstar Hulk Hogan.

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard dude! I am not Hulk Hogan brutha!,” said Mr. America.

And if you believe that, then Vince McMahon is a greater genius than I give him credit for.

That’s all for now. Enjoy tonight’s RAW and, as always, STAY TUNED!!